Cat's Tales
by o-banana
Summary: Iruka thought he had enough trouble looking after a house full of cats, dogs, and various other humanoids. But when Naruto goes into heat, he finds out what trouble really means... YAOI SasuNaru, various other pairings. Anthro
1. One

**Cat's Tales**

"Nyaaaaaaaaaah!"

Seemingly unfazed by the loud yowl, Sasuke calmly twitched his tail to the side, removing it from the ever present danger of the kitten's claws. He continued grooming himself with broad licks of his tongue, the only sign of his annoyance being the prominent vein that ticked in his jaw.

"Nuh-nuh-nyaaaaaa-"

This time a paw, with claws extended, stopped the rambunctious kitten's lunge and Sasuke fell back with a satisfied smirk as howls of pain filled the courtyard. He cleaned meticulously between his toes before moving up his haunches, completely ignoring the death threats being thrown in his direction.

"Sasuke-teme!" This time the childish voice was a high, petulant whine. Sasuke pointedly turned away as a blond bundle manifested itself at his side and extracted his claws quickly as a silent warning.

But it seemed that the kitten had reached his pain threshold for the day, as he did nothing but mew piteously and curl closer.

"I was only playing," he whined. A plump bottom lip stuck out and wounded blue eyes looked at him reproachfully.

"Go play with Kiba."

"Eww," the kitten wrinkled his nose in acute distaste. "Kiba's a _dog,_ teme."

"Not that far from you then, is he."

Furry blond ears flattened as Sasuke was faced with a narrow eyed glare. "Are you callin' me a mutt?!"

"You certainly smell like one."

The kitten raised himself on his haunches and opened his mouth to no doubt let loose a war cry the likes of which Sasuke had never heard before, but the deafening slam of a door made both of them freeze.

"Uzumaki Naruto!" The thunderous voice echoed throughout the courtyard, and several pets poked curious heads from behind trees as the evening's entertainment played out before them.

The pet in question, however, squeaked in fright and leapt behind Sasuke, grasping his twitching, sleek black tail and holding it over his head as a pitiful attempt to shield himself. Sasuke growled in irritation and yanked his tail away from the blonde's grasping paws, causing Naruto to whine sharply and attempt to burrow closer and tuck himself entirely underneath Sasuke's body.

It was to no avail, however, as chaos was upon them in the form of a slight, young man with mousy brown hair, a scarred face, and flashing eyes. He also happened to be covered from head to toe… in flour.

"Uzumaki Naruto," he repeated, stomping over to stand in front of the quaking Naruto with his hands on his hips. "Are you, or are you not responsible for this mess?!"

"Umm… not?"

Sasuke nimbly moved out of the way as a large, tanned hand shot forward and grasped the squirming kitten by the scruff, lifting him into the air and then proceeding to box his large, furry ears roughly. Both Sasuke and the man seemed unmoved by the kitten's yowls of pain, this being a regular sort of occurrence.

"Ow, ow, owwww, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto mewed wretchedly, flattening his ears in an attempt to spare himself the pain of another boxing.

"How many times," Iruka growled, lifting the kitten up so that he could look into his large, watery blue eyes, "have I told you not to play in the kitchen?!"

He emphasized his scolding with a quick shake, before placing a flour dusted hand underneath the kitten's rump so the loose skin on the back of his neck wouldn't be stretched out too painfully. He released his hold on Naruto's ears and brushed the flour off of his nose gently, fighting the urge to remain stern as Naruto sneezed twice in his direction.

"It was an accident, honest."

Iruka scowled into the outwardly angelic face and turned his attention to Sasuke, who had resumed his painstakingly thorough grooming.

"Didn't I ask you to look after him, Sasuke?" Cool black eyes flicked up at him nonchalantly before the cat went back to laving his tail. Iruka's fingers twitched with the need to box his ears too, but he didn't dare. He had raised his trouble making Naruto from what seemed like birth, but Sasuke was a different sort of cat altogether.

He had been found a few years ago in a forest nearby, surrounded by carcasses of what could have only been his clan. Iruka had adopted him into his already bulging home readily, but he had no doubts that any attempt at touching his person without permission would result in having his eyes clawed out.

"Sasuke," he prompted again through gritted teeth, and petted Naruto's head absent-mindedly as he glared at the insolent black cat.

"He smells revolting."

Iruka had to grab Naruto with both hands to prevent him from leaping at the blunt response. As it was, several shrill yowls and hair raising hisses assaulted his ears before he could calm the kitten down.

"Now, Sasuke." He sighed, suddenly feeling downtrodden and tired, and left wondering _why_ he had taken these pets in the first place. "I know Naruto can be a little—all right, a lot—annoying, but that doesn't mean you can insult him for—"

"I'm not trying to insult him." Narrowed black eyes glared at him reproachfully and Sasuke tossed his head in a decidedly arrogant manner. "It's the truth."

Iruka opened his mouth to refute this statement, clearly intent on informing the cat that he didn't smell anything wrong with his precious Naruto, but a playful bark made him turn.

"He's right." Kiba loped towards him from the bushes in which he'd been dozing before the commotion woke him. "The pussy smells awful."

The glint of sharp teeth as Kiba bared them in a grin gave no doubt to what he truly meant. Naruto bristled furiously in his hands and Iruka felt a migraine knocking politely on his skull as the kitten bared his teeth in return.

Sasuke's "Like you can talk, mutt," was quickly followed by Naruto's "Go suck it, Kiba you fuc—"

Iruka hastily covered Naruto's mouth with his hand to prevent the obscenity from being expelled, though privately he was amused that Sasuke had deemed the blonde worthy to defend.

He removed his hand from Naruto's mouth as the kitten licked at his palm and fixed the dog boy with a stern stare. "I don't know where you've picked up that kind of language—"

"The telly," Kiba provided helpfully, his tongue lolling out as he butted Iruka's knees with his head.

"Well." Iruka straightened and looked around with an air of one grievously affronted. "Then let me address all of you." He noted several ears perking above the bushes surrounding the courtyard and continued. "If I hear one more curse word out of any of you, the telly will find its new home at the bottom of the lake."

Several pets gasped and even more growled dangerously at Kiba at the threat of losing their one true source of entertainment. The dog boy looked around with dread and then hung his head and grumbled lowly, kicking at the ground with his hind legs.

"Good," Iruka said, feeling surprisingly cheerful now that balance had been restored. "Now what's this about Naruto's… smell?"

Obviously no longer trusting Kiba to give an appropriate response, a sleek Siamese with hauntingly white eyes stalked forward. "It's heavy,"hHe murmured, his voice low and smooth. "Thick."

Iruka blinked in surprise. Neji was one of the few cats with which Iruka had not yet formed a bond; he was silent to the point of being mute, and the times he did speak were to subtly insult his fellow pen-mates. Iruka had yet to have a straightforward conversation with the cat boy – he had a gift for leading people around in circles, and one could almost never get a straight answer from him.

"Say that again?" Iruka said, still a bit lost in his thoughts.

Neji sniffed impatiently and settled himself besides Sasuke, though still a respectable distance away. _Birds of a feather, those two,_ Iruka thought in amusement as he watched them silently nod to each other in greeting.

"He smells… full." Neji returned his attention to Iruka, and his forehead crinkled as he struggled to find words to describe that particular smell. "Or-no. He's empty. Waiting to be full."

Iruka blanched at this cryptic remark, silently urging Neji to continue. Naruto squirmed in his grasp and Iruka turned him so that he could face the two cats that were pondering his scent. He mewed questioningly at Iruka, worry clouding his face, and Iruka hummed softly under his breath and petted his ears in reassurance.

"It makes my stomach hurt," Sasuke spoke up suddenly.

Iruka frowned. "Like you want to throw up?"

Sasuke shook his head impatiently. "No. It's… knotted. Like the stomach ache I get from eating your blueberry pies—" Iruka's eyes twitched at the obvious insult to his cooking, "—but worse."

"I see," Iruka muttered, though it was obvious from his wrinkled forehead that he actually didn't see at all. "Well, how long has he been smelling like this?"

"A few days," Neji said with a loose shrug.

"Five," Sasuke countered, mouth turning down sharply. It was obvious that the mysterious scent had affected him the most – but that wasn't anything out of sorts; it was common knowledge that Naruto trailed after the proud black cat day and night.

"But I just gave him a bath the day before yesterday." Naruto licked Iruka under the chin at an attempt to quell his obvious irritation at this new development. Iruka looked down at the kitten, whose ears were perked in shameless curiosity and started to make his way towards the house.

"Alright," he sighed. "I'll just have to give you another bath—" He pointedly ignored the way Naruto squeaked and wriggled in his arms at that statement. "Who knows what you've been rolling around in."

He looked back and waved shortly over his shoulder. "Come along now, it's almost dinner time."

He counted quickly as pets emerged from the bushes and trotted past him and into the house. He raised an eyebrow at Sasuke's frosty glare before he realized it was directed at the kitten in his arms, who had been oh-so-maturely sticking his tongue out at the black cat.

"Come on now, Naruto." He sighed, stepping into the house and locking the door behind him, smiling as Naruto looked mournfully behind him at the courtyard. "We have to wake up the girls from their nap too. Day's not over yet."

**TBC**


	2. Two

**Cat's Tales**

Iruka stared in dismay at what used to be his pristine, spotless kitchen. Powdery white flour covered each and every inch of the counter space and most of the floor, and now that Iruka wasn't close to having an aneurysm, he could see that it most certainly had _not_ been an accident.

He scowled at the kitten curiously sniffing himself in his arms, but couldn't summon the anger to scold him again. He knew Naruto was mischievous by nature, and he certainly enjoyed watching people blow their tops, but there was a hidden, vulnerable side to him that reminded Iruka of his own childhood.

While he wasn't entirely sure exactly what had happened, he knew Naruto had been abandoned long before he found him. He had been wandering the streets, pitifully thin with a mangled coat and drooping ears. Iruka remembered first coming across him and watching as he would pause to peer into a shop window before scratching it gently with a claw, only to turn away as the shop owner shooed him with a broom or worse.

Iruka himself had never been as desolate as that, but once his parents died, he was left with an incurable sort of loneliness that followed him like a lingering scent. The minute that small blond (though the dirt and god knows what else had made him seem more brown, then) kitten had turned towards him and blinked his large, wary blue eyes, he had carved out a piece of Iruka's heart and joined it with his own.

A sudden kick to his solar plexus brought Iruka out of his reminiscing with a grunt, and he released the struggling kitten in his arms on instinct. Naruto jumped from his arms and, strangely lacking the grace most cats were born with, banged his leg on the counter. Iruka watched, exasperated, as he tumbled to the floor and laid there dazed for a moment before shaking his head and tail in sync and sprinting to the nap room with a yowl.

He turned back to the catastrophe occupying his kitchen and groaned at what he saw.

"Chouji!" he grouched, grabbing the voracious pet by his tail and tugging. The pet in question looked back and graced him with a blank look as he continued to stuff handfuls of flour into his mouth. Iruka grabbed his paw, avoiding the claws with ease and firmly pulled it away from the tongue that was now trying to lick it.

"Chouji, stop that! You can't eat flour raw, you'll get a stomach ache!" He picked up the wolverine with some difficulty due to his weight and carried him away from the kitchen, pointedly ignoring the mournful look he sent the uneaten flour over his shoulder.

"Now, will you sit here and try not to put anything in your mouth while I get you something to eat?" Iruka set Chouji down on one of the large, plump, cushioned mats that served as dining chairs for the pets.

The wolverine regarded him with a petulant frown, and licked at his claws in a thoughtful manner. "I want more flour."

"We don't have any more flour," Iruka explained in what he hoped was a patient tone. "The stuff all over the counters is dirty now."

"I want it. Get me more."

And the migraine was making a miraculous comeback. Iruka exhaled slowly through his nose as he evaluated his options. Normally Chouji was one of the more sweet-tempered, quiet pets, but when it came to food he was as stubborn as Iruka himself could sometimes be. It was true that he would eat quite literally anything you handed him, but once you refused him something… well, that would turn out to be the _only_ thing he would eat for a while.

"Alright." He sighed, defeated in a pitifully short amount of time. "I won't let you eat it raw, but I could make some tempura. Of course I'll have to call the store and see if they'll deliver this late and it's almost dinner time anyway…"

His soft mutterings were abruptly cut short as a piercing scream rang through the air. He was sprinting through the hallway before Chouji even had time to turn his head, his heart pounding with dread. Dozens of horrifying images flashed through his mind as he threw open the door to the nap room, and he nearly collapsed when he saw what had caused the commotion.

"Sensei!" A bunny with soft, bubblegum pink fur screeched at him. "Get him _off_ of me!"

"Oh for god's sake." Iruka slid down the door and placed his throbbing head in his hands. Here he had been expecting various amounts of blood and gore, and what he found was… Naruto. Whose head seemed to be currently attached to Sakura's chest.

The bunny wailed at her misfortune and kicked the sharply mewing kitten viciously with her long, powerful hind legs. Naruto, for his part, seemed to be trying his hardest to get away from the agitated bunny, and as Iruka drew closer he saw that the zipper of the kitten's jacket had been unfortunately caught in one of the long, pink strands of Sakura's hair.

"Ow! Sakura-chan!" he mewled, attempting to pull away but only managing to rub his face further into the bunny's chest.

"Pervert!" Naruto was smacked across the face as another pet joined into the fray, a blonde Persian with glowing blue eyes and a nasty bite.

"Ino, stop that." Iruka finally recovered his bearings and strode over to the tangled mess of pets in the middle of the pen. He gently grasped Sakura's jerking foot and held it to the side as he separated the two squalling pets, quickly moving Naruto out of kicking range as Sakura's hair was freed.

"Augh!" She shuddered in disgust while Naruto hid behind Iruka. "Did you see that sensei?! Did you see what he was doing? Aren't you going to say anyth—"

"Yes," Iruka interrupted, holding up a hand to silence her tirade before turning back to the meek looking kitten behind him. "What _were_ you doing, Naruto?"

"I-I… I was just…" His ears drooped as he butted his head miserably against Iruka's hand. "I just wanted to know what she smelled like."

Iruka sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day. Apparently the issue about his odd scent had affected the kitten more than he had anticipated. He picked Naruto up again, bending down for a moment to ruffle Sakura's hair in apology as he swept out of the room, ignoring her outraged protests at the lack of punishment.

"We'll get that bath going right now, alright?" he consoled, passing through the kitchen and nearly tripping on a certain chubby pet who had chosen to lounge directly in the middle of the hallway.

"Flour?" Chouji questioned, eyes wide and hopeful.

Iruka very nearly dropped Naruto in favor of ripping his hair out. For a moment he debated just running for it and locking himself in the nearest supply closet, but he tossed that idea when he pictured what a disaster zone his precious home would become if he was to lift his attention for even a minute. And then he spotted salvation in the form of an ornery black cat, sitting on the window seat and scowling heavily in the direction of the blond in his arms.

_Ahah,_ he thought, stepping over Chouji and walking towards the cranky feline. _  
_

"Sasuke, since you're not doing anything of importance…" Iruka dropped Naruto onto the seat besides the black cat, and continued despite Sasuke's withering glare. "I would like you to get Naruto's bath started while I call the grocery store."

He didn't wait for the vehemently hissed 'no!' that would undoubtedly come from Sasuke. "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you." His school teacher's voice came in handy when it came to dealing with unruly pets, but he knew Sasuke would require a bit more persuasion. "And I'm not unwilling to make onigiri tonight if you do this for me."

And there was the clincher. Iruka didn't fail to notice the way Sasuke's ears perked at the promise of his favorite food. Iruka and most of the other pets had no inclination towards the salty sweet rice balls, and since Iruka refused to make a special dish for each pet every night, Sasuke didn't get to indulge very often. Iruka restrained the triumphant grin that always threatened to emerge whenever he got the best of Sasuke and nodded to him in thanks instead as he stalked towards the bathroom, growling lowly at the blonde to follow.

Sasuke felt his tail bristle and stay bristled as he stalked towards the bathroom. He hated being manipulated, especially when the manipulator knew his weakness, but the temptation of onigiri was just too much to resist. He hadn't had those succulent rice balls in months–not because Iruka was unwilling to make them, but because he was too proud to ask.

A low growl escaped him as he reached the bathroom door and kicked it open sulkily. It was positively malicious of Iruka to force this on him in exchange. Not only was Naruto's wildly fluctuating smell – from confused to upset to giddy - making him dizzy, but the underlying scent that they had discussed outside was just getting thicker the closer he got.

He stepped inside and flicked the light on with his tail, turning back when he didn't hear any whining from the normally hydrophobic kitten. He was startled to see the drooping ears and downcast eyes, but he only got a glimpse of them because as soon as Naruto became aware of his gaze, a large, gleaming, undeniably fake smile was slapped onto his face.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he debated confronting the blond, but looked back at the large bathtub and decided he had wasted enough time.

"In!" he barked, motioning towards the tub with his sleek black tail. He pointedly turned his gaze towards the mirror over the counter as the blonde began to shimmy out of his bright orange shorts and jumper. In the mirror a boy with dark hair and darker eyes stared back at him. At a distance the cat boy looked skinny, but a closer look revealed lean muscle definition on his bare arms. His shoulders were narrow but confident, the thick black fur at the back of his neck smoothing across his upper back, but giving way to smooth, creamy skin in the front.

"Teme?" He turned away from the reflection at the petulant voice. "Are you done admiring yourself, or do you need some more time?" The blonde's bottom lip stuck out in a way that made Sasuke want to bite it off.

He shook his head of all malevolent thoughts regarding Naruto and glared in his direction instead. The kitten snickered quietly to himself at the look and Sasuke determinedly refused to acknowledge the way laughter made his eyes dance and tail sway.

He turned the knob viciously, as if venting his mounting frustration on the lackluster piece of metal would make any difference. The knot low in his belly was just winding tighter, and for a moment he seriously debated drowning the irritating kitten and getting it over with. His spiteful thoughts were interrupted as said kitten appeared besides him, throwing one naked leg over the edge of the tub to gingerly test the water with his furry, clawed feet. Sasuke watched unconsciously, his gaze trailing over the thick blond fur at Naruto's ankles, rising to his calves where it grew sparse, and then to his silky thighs, bare except for the furred appendage that curled around one. And higher still to his tender, boyish cock, crowned by what he could only image was the softest of fur…

Sasuke jerked his head away so quickly for a second he thought he might have snapped it clean off. The knot in his belly tightened and pulsed like some living thing, and for a few panicky moments he thought something was trying to burst out of him.

"Get _in!_" he snarled so suddenly that Naruto yelped in fright, toppling over into the tub and dousing a furious Sasuke with lukewarm water.

"H-Hey!" Naruto sputtered, yowling shrilly as he realized he was surrounded by the slick, wet substance he so dreaded. "Don't yell at m-me, bastard!"

Sasuke gritted his teeth and thought he felt them crush to powder inside his mouth. He turned abruptly, considering his job complete and fully looking forward to devouring all of the onigiri that he damn well _deserved,_ when the bane of his existence mewed his name pathetically.

"What. Now." The words were forced out of his mouth in short, sudden bursts, as if he couldn't bear to say more than a syllable to the blonde at a time.

Several splashing noises greeted him and since he refused to turn around and face the devious kitten who would no doubt try to pin him with his large, watery blue eyes, he could only assume that Naruto was waving his arms in agitation as he was prone to do.

"You can't go yet! You have to help me wash my back!"

More splashing punctuated this statement. Sasuke calmly deafened himself to the blonde's protests and walked out of the bathroom, only to run into Iruka, who was talking agitatedly on the phone.

"Yes, I know it's late, but I need it today, yes, today, as in right now… and… pay extra? Well, how much is 'extra', exactly?"

Sasuke was about to sidestep his irate caretaker and make his way to the corner of the house furthest away from that blasted smell, but Naruto's loud wail of "I can't reach back there! Senseiiiiiii! I don't wanna take a bath!" caused Iruka to pause, grip him by the shoulder and guide him back into the bathroom.

Sasuke hissed at the manhandling, but quieted as Iruka mouthed 'onigiri' at him while waggling his eyebrows in what he seemed to think was an enticing manner. He held his breath as he walked toward Naruto, determined to suffocate rather than inhale any more of that agonizing scent.

Naruto seemed to be tangled in his own hair, and attempting to climb out of the bathtub while he juggled a bar of soap that, as Sasuke approached, slid out of his grasp and hit him smack dab in the middle of his forehead. Sasuke, turning a bit blue in the face from the lack of oxygen, calmly sank a wickedly sharp claw into the soap and picked it up from the bottom of the tub.

Naruto scoffed at his apparent prowess concerning all things slippery and stood with a wobble, turning to present Sasuke his back and shaking his tail playfully in his face. The droplets of water that sprinkled onto his face cause Sasuke to take in a sudden breath, and his eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head as the concentrated perfume invaded his lungs.

He grasped the edge of the tub to steady himself as his stomach rolled and a heavy throb manifested itself between his thighs. Every muscle in his body tensed unbearably, and he could hear a low, rumbly noise erupting from his throat, a strange of hybrid between a purr and a growl.

He was dimly aware that the blonde kitten had turned around with a meow and was now saying something in an urgent, worried tone, but his attention was captured by the slick tan skin in front of his face and the smell that had raided every pore in his skin, caused ever individual hair to rise and…

"Sasuke!" A clawed hand grasped his hair and tugged his face up. Frightened blue eyes stared into his and Sasuke took a moment to realize that the kitten's face was the only thing in focus before a deep growl rose from his throat and his muscles locked in anticipation.

"Sasuke…" Naruto retracted his claws quickly and leaned forward. "Your eyes are—"

The steam rising from the water in the tub and the close proximity caused the scent to spike unbearably and Sasuke lost all semblance of coherent thought.

He didn't wait to hear the end of Naruto's sentence before he pounced.

**TBC**


	3. Three

Cat's Tales

Naruto opened his mouth to meow shrilly in protest as a heavy weight knocked him back into the tub, but managed to do nothing but choke on the warm water he was now submerged in. For a few terrifying moments he was surrounded completely by the very substance he detested, and his mind's eye flashed him back to the last time that had occurred.

_A small, wobbly kitten, not even a few months old, ran along the bank of a large river. Several men with sticks and torches ran behind him, throwing rocks and other sharp objects as they followed. One pebble grazed the kitten's shoulder, causing him to stumble. _

_He was down for barely a few seconds, but it was plenty of time for the men to catch up to him. Harsh hands grappled for him and the kitten scrunched his eyes in sheer terror, the men's insults ringing in his ears. _

"_Filth!" _

"_Demon!" _

"_MONSTER!" _

_And then those hands grasped him by the tail and flung him into the unforgiving abyss of the river that meant to swallow him whole. _

Shock blue eyes snapped open and Naruto threw the weight atop him off with a strength he didn't know he possessed. His clawed foot connected solidly with Sasuke's chest, and Naruto followed him as he flew back.

They both landed heavily on the cool marble floor, several feet from the tub. Naruto looked down at Sasuke, not realizing the black cat's bloody red eyes were reflected in his own. At that moment he couldn't see the boy beneath him as anything but a threat, and he bared his razor sharp canines with a hiss.

Fangs flashed at him in return, and suddenly he was being thrown back, his shoulder connecting painfully with the edge of the cabinet as Sasuke growled into his ear before biting down harshly. Naruto's claws extended immediately, and he raked them through the dark haired boy's shirt, slicing it open and exposing long, thin pink lines on his chest that began to bleed.

Sasuke stilled and both kittens stared blankly at the bright red drops of blood that eased down his chest. Then their eyes met, red to red, and the low, hair raising snarl that rose from Sasuke's bloody chest made Naruto's ears twitch and flatten instinctively.

Pure, primal fear raced through his body at the sound, and despite the fact that every instinct in him screamed to run, Naruto was rooted to the spot. Every thud of his heart reverberated throughout his body – the sensitive flesh of his ears, his lips, his throat…

And then Sasuke brought a hand to his chest and caught a drop of blood on the tip of a claw. Naruto's eyes, which were slowly descending back to their original blue color, followed the claw as it moved closer, until the bloody tip touched the center of his chest.

His eyes shifted back to Sasuke's quickly, and a coil of heat spread through him at the hazy quality of the black kitten's gaze. The claw drew down gently, not applying enough pressure to even scratch the trembling flesh as a thin stroke of Sasuke's own blood bloomed. A soft, questioning mew attempted to escape from Naruto's throat as Sasuke leaned forward, but breath was stolen from him as a rough tongue laved at his sternum.

A wet line of heat slid from Sasuke's tongue as he licked up his blood with long, broad strokes. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but the metallic taste of his blood mixed with the soapy, spicy skin he licked it from intoxicated him.

Naruto's scent no longer felt like an intruder; rather, it had become a part of him. The knot in his stomach hadn't unwound, but tightened to a point where he could do nothing but attempt to ease it. He found that the smell of his own saliva on the blonde accomplished that quite well.

That heavy, secret place between his thighs continued to throb, but Sasuke ignored it for the time being. He laved at the blonde's chest leisurely, locking his legs on either side of the kitten's hips to prevent escape. A soft nip at a prominent collar bone caused Naruto to mewl in surprise, and finding he enjoyed hearing that sound, Sasuke did it again. He sucked and tongued the hollow at the base of the blonde's throat, settling his entire weight on the body below him as all sense and sensibility flew out the window.

Naruto was in a daze. He knew what Sasuke - he wasn't so stupid as to not recognize simple grooming when he saw it - but what confounded him was how different it felt from when he groomed himself. The hot, rough swipes of Sasuke's tongue on his throat made his entire body tighten. Breathing became a chore as that wet heat trailed up to his jaw, and Naruto mewed helplessly as his toes curled.

Sasuke's face was right in front of his now, and their breaths fanned each other's faces at short intervals. The saliva was rapidly cooling on his skin, and Naruto's tail bristled and thrashed at the feeling. He felt uncomfortably wet between his legs, and he had the sudden urge to tongue himself clean. He squirmed underneath Sasuke, hips bucking up in an attempt to knock the older cat off of him.

A low growl and sharp nip to his jugular was the only response his struggles earned him. He whined again as Sasuke's rough tongue moved to licking at his chin, before swiping quickly at his parted lips. Naruto licked his own lips after, and the concentrated taste of the other kitten had him thrashing. He felt damp all the way down to his knees now, and an uncomfortable pressure had accumulated in his abdomen, the way it did when he had to go to the bathroom _right away._

That thought suddenly inspired panic in Naruto, and he mewled loudly in embarrassment. When the black cat above him refused to cooperate, he hissed and swiped at him with his paws, keeping his claws retracted in fear of angering him.

Sasuke stilled as Naruto pawed at his face and looked at him bemusedly before bending down and proceeding to clean his paws as meticulously as he would his own. Naruto felt an unwanted purr rock his body at the feeling; the cushiony pads of his fingers were unbearably sensitive, and Sasuke's coarse, wet tongue only enhanced the sensation.

He attempted to pull his hand away, but Sasuke kept a firm hold on it, dipping his tongue into the slight web between two fingers before running it over the ridged palm. And then he sucked an entire finger into his mouth, fangs grazing the edges just barely as he swirled his tongue over it. Naruto's cock, swollen and heavy, throbbed with each suck, but he was so frightened at this point due to the sudden change in atmosphere that he could think of nothing but getting away.

Sasuke himself was completely intent on thoroughly washing every inch of the blonde before he endeavored to ease the ache in his belly, so he wasn't quite expecting it when the paw he was laving tried to claw his eyes out.

He fell back with a hiss, lifting a hand to cover his eye and starting when it came in contact with blood. Naruto took advantage of his distraction and kicked out, catching Sasuke in the chest and knocking him further back so he could wriggle out from under him and make for the door.

A sharp tug and low growl brought his escape attempt to a halt and he mewled shrilly at the pain. Sasuke snarled in response and leapt on him again, bringing his claws down on the kitten's shoulders to press him face first into the tiled floor.

"Sasuke-teme!" Naruto recovered his voice as his tail was tugged again. "Get off me, bastard!"

Sasuke heard the blonde's complaint and registered it in his hazy mind, but was beyond verbal responses. He pushed the kitten forward with a rumble, knocking his legs apart and mounting him without a thought to what he was doing. One hand still grasped Naruto's tail, which he tugged on whenever the blonde bucked up against him.

"Quit it!" Naruto whined, trying to push back despite the ache in his shoulders. "Sasuke! I'll tell sensei on you!"

He was about to turn his head as far as he could and bite off the bastard's nose – which was now buried in the soft, scruffy hair at the back of his neck – but the sudden click of the door opening shut had both kittens looking up in surprise.

They were met with the sight of a koala, rumpled in a way that said he'd just woken from his four hour nap. He stared blearily at the two kittens on the floor of the bathroom covered in blood, before shaking his head with a slow sigh.

"How troublesome," was the last thing Naruto heard before Shikamaru slammed the door shut in their face.

"Hand me the salt, Shino," Iruka muttered as he rolled the rice balls delicately in his palm. He disliked cooking onigiri for a reason – the rice balls never came out exactly the way he wanted them to.

His eye twitched in irritation as the one he was currently rolling started looking more and more like a peanut. A soft flutter of wings and a quiet, "Sensei," had him looking to side at his unexpected helper.

He took the salt shaker from the moth with a small smile and sprinkled some onto the rice ball in his hand. Usually Chouji was the one that helped him prepare meals (if he didn't eat most of the ingredients beforehand) but currently the wolverine was too busy pouting over the lack of flour to be of much help, so Iruka had enlisted the young moth instead.

Shino disliked being in cramped spaces such as Iruka's small kitchen since he couldn't extend his wings properly, but he had valiantly sacrificed his comfort for the sake of his caretaker's sanity. He'd seen the commotion that Naruto had created in the afternoon, and knew from the slow tick of the vein in Iruka's jaw that he was very close to losing it.

The last time Iruka had blown his top (Naruto had been to blame then, too) the play room had been eradicated and all of their toys thrown into the dumpster. Kiba had gotten solitary confinement for the grand total of fifteen minutes, and a squealing Naruto had been chased around the house by a spatula-wielding Iruka. Shino shuddered delicately at the imagery. He had no wish to be on the receiving end of that spatula, so he was more than happy to help the scarred man roll a few rice balls.

Iruka was putting his full concentration into making one, just _one _perfect rice ball, so he didn't notice that another pet had entered the kitchen until the insistent tugging on his pant leg made him look down with a huff.

Limpid brown eyes stared up at him, and the clawed hand continued to tug until Iruka had abandoned his cooking attempts and crouched down so that he and the koala were face to face.

"What is it, Shikamaru?" he asked with a frown. "If you want dinner, just be patient… it's almost done."

The koala's ears perked at the sound of dinner, but he shook his head and pointed to the bathroom instead. Dread bloomed inside Iruka, and he looked down at the sleepy pet with horrified eyes.

"Sasuke and Naruto are trying to kill each other _again_, and I need to use the bathroom."

Iruka was already at the door of the bathroom by the time Shikamaru had finished his sentence, voiced in the most petulant of manners. He shoved the door open expecting to see blood, gore and entrails, much like earlier with the commotion in the nap room, but this time he wasn't disappointed.

His eyes were first drawn to the stark contrast of the smear of blood against his pristine marble floor near the cabinet. He followed the trail with his eyes until he came upon the kittens who were no doubt the cause. Naruto noticed him first and greeted him with a yowl shrill enough to make Iruka cover his ears and wince in pain.

"Senseeeiiii!" he wailed, thrashing with renewed energy beneath the black kitten. "Heeeeelp meeeeeee!"

"Oh, for the love of god," Iruka muttered as he moved forward, fully intending to lift Sasuke off the squirming blond bundle of trouble. "What did you do now, Naruto?"

But it soon became apparent to him that Naruto was perhaps not the one at fault. He jerked his hand back with a gasp as Sasuke turned and snapped at him, but the real shock came from the color of the black kitten's eyes.

Eyes that were normally the color of coal had turned a striking red and seemed to be _spinning._ Iruka stumbled back until he hit the wall, stunned and unsure of whether this meant Sasuke had gone into some sort of blood lust or what. Naruto's sharp mewl brought him out of his horrified fascination however, and he snapped back to reality with a painful thud.

He grabbed Sasuke by the scruff quickly and tugged him back, wincing as claws dug into his wrist. This gave Naruto enough leverage to kick and claw his way out from underneath Sasuke, and Iruka loosened his hold on the black cat that was trying his best to make mince meat out of him once Naruto had gotten to a safe distance.

He yanked his wrist from Sasuke's grip and kicked out when tiny sharp teeth sank into his thigh.

"Sasuke! I'm sorry, are you—are you alright?" He was appalled at first – he had never physically fought with any of his pets – but as soon as Sasuke righted himself, it became apparent that he had no qualms about ripping his caretaker to shreds. He scrambled back out of the bathroom quickly, grabbing Naruto and pulling the door shut just as Sasuke pounced with a bloody snarl.

The sound of claws raking down the door coupled with snarls and growls of a fearsome nature erupted immediately. Iruka shook his head in stunned wonder as he saw that Sasuke was too far gone to even realize that he could open the door; he though he had to _claw _his way out. The sheer primitiveness of this behavior had Iruka clasping Naruto to his chest and standing on shaky feet.

And then he nearly jumped out of his skin as the doorbell rang.

Naruto yelped as Iruka's hold on him tightened exponentially, then relaxed as Iruka let out a wobbly sigh. Sparing a worried glance at the noises emerging from the bathroom, Iruka walked quickly through the hall and opened the front door,Naruto in hand, just as the bell rang again.

"Hello." He exhaled shakily and tried to smile. "How can I help you?"

The masked man on his doorstep raised a silvery grey eyebrow at the bloody, fidgeting kitten in his arms and held up two heavy looking plastic bags. "You ordered flour?"

"Oh!" Iruka stepped back with an apologetic bow of his head. "Sorry to keep you waiting, I… there was an emergency." He gestured sheepishly with his elbow towards the counter when the man held up the bags, unwilling to release Naruto and take them himself.

The man, who Iruka noticed was rather fit for his age, placed the flour on the counter and turned back to him with an interested look in his one exposed eye. "What sort of emergency?"

Iruka blinked in surprise. He had left the door open as an obvious gesture for the man to take his leave, but he seemed rather comfortable leaning against the counter and eyeing Naruto with curiosity. Feeling suddenly protective, he huddled Naruto closer to his chest and stepped back.

"I haven't seen you at the store before. Are you new?" He avoided the man's question and changed the subject rather bluntly, hoping the indiscreet poke into the man's private life might prompt him to leave. Unfortunately, it seemed to have no such effect.

The one visible eye crinkled slightly as if in a smile. "I just moved here about a week ago. The grocers needed an extra hand and I needed the cash so-"

A sharp squeal and the noise of something expensive shattering into a hundred tiny pieces cut the man off. Iruka started towards the bathroom urgently, feeling sick to his stomach at the thought of Sasuke having hurt himself trying to get out.

He opened the door hurriedly and without caution, and was greeted with the sight of Sasuke staring morosely at his bloodied paw, which he had apparently used to smash the mirror behind him. The black kitten looked up as Iruka entered, but made no more to charge towards him, so he ventured closer.

"Sasuke…" he whispered, worry clouding his features. The cat in question looked up and whined low in his throat. His back was arched and his eyes were still a violent red, but his tail was no longer lashing back and forth. He whined again, rumbling deeply, and Iruka realized it was directed at Naruto. "What is it? What's wrong with you?"

"Looks like he's in rut."

Iruka started at the cheerful voice and turned to find the man he _thought _he'd left in the kitchen crinkling his eye in his direction. He was just about to berate the man for barging into his home uninvited when what he'd said caught up to him.

"W-What, rut?!" he yelped. "He's just a kitten!"

"All kittens have to grow up sometime," the man drawled, lifting his chin at Sasuke, who had yet to stop rumbling. "Looks like some pretty lady's in heat and he can't help himself."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Iruka snapped, shifting Naruto in his arms and turning to face the man fully. "None of the girls are in heat. I would have noticed if they were."

"Well, what about that one?" A long fingered hand waved languidly in Naruto's direction, who was squirming and attempting to look over Iruka's shoulder at Sasuke. Iruka gasped in affront and lifted the blonde kitten, presenting him to the man as evidence.

"Naruto is a _boy!_"

"You sure about that?"

While Iruka sputtered at the man's self assured tone, he stepped closer and calmly tugged the blonde's legs apart. Iruka hissed right along with Naruto at this gross invasion of privacy, but the man simply tugged the kitten's hips up, cupped his balls and cock in one hand, and lifted them to expose the reddened opening underneath.

"Like I said," he said dryly as Iruka and Naruto shrieked in tandem and jumped away. "The little kitty's rolling in heat."

"That's impossible," Iruka said, staring blankly at Naruto who was busy covering his privates with his tail and hissing furiously. The masked man tsked lowly in his direction before continuing.

"Don't tell me you've never heard of hermaphrodites?"

"H-Her… Her…" Iruka's voice had thinned to the point of being barely audible.

"Hermaphrodite," the man repeated, as if hearing the word several times would make it easier to digest. "You know, they have both boy and girl par-"

"I know what hermaphrodites are!" Iruka snapped, locking his disbelief in a box and shoving it into some remote corner of his mind to take out and examine at a later date.

The man didn't seem to be affected by his outburst, instead looking contemplatively at Sasuke, who had slumped down to the ground, nursing his bloodied hand with silted eyes. His posture was lax, as if the heat of the rut – if that's what it truly had been – had worn off and he was in a state of simple confusion.

"You know," he murmured, turning his gaze back to Naruto, "they say hermaphrodites are possessed by demons." Neither Iruka nor the man failed to notice the way Naruto flinched at that word.

"Possessed," he continued, "so they could bear offspring and solidify the demon's powers…"

"D-Don't be silly," Iruka breathed, shuddering at the sudden chill in the room. "How do you know all of this anyway?"

The masked man tilted his head in a way that made Iruka think he was gracing him with an enigmatic smile. He crushed the sudden urge to peel that fabric away and look upon his face as a whole, raising an eyebrow in question instead.

"I used to be a trainer," was the vague response, and before Iruka could question him further, their conversation was interrupted by a certain sleepy-eyed pet who came up and scratched at Iruka's pant leg irritably.

"Iruka-sensei," the koala growled. "Chouji found the flour and I _really _need to go to the bathroom."

Iruka groaned aloud at the thought of Chouji shredding the bag of flour to pieces. He looked frantically from the dazed Sasuke to the bristled Naruto to the lazy one-eyed stare of the delivery man and wondered which matter he should address first. He noticed the man's eye crinkling in amusement again and made his decision with a helpless shrug.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

**TBC**


	4. Four

Chapter 4

"Shino, would you please call out the girls for dinner?" Iruka turned towards the moth, precariously balancing four bowls of steamed rice in his hands. At the nod and quick flutter of wings he received in response, he walked into the dining room and placed the bowls onto the low, round table in the center. "And Naruto, get out the mats and set them."

The blonde kitten, who had stayed quiet and frightened for the grand total of fifteen minutes after the bathroom incident, had rapidly returned to his original self after he had found out that he was being gypped out of ramen for dinner. Iruka pretended not to hear the grumbling as Naruto dragged his feet and started to search for the cushions that served as seating mats for the pets.

He walked back to the kitchen grabbed the chopsticks from the drawer and did a quick count to make sure he had enough. Yesterday Kiba had only gotten one chopstick and proceeded to steal Chouji's in an attempt to correct this severe infraction, starting a food fight that had only ended when Iruka had threatened to cut off every tail in the vicinity with the chopstick in question. Shaking his head slightly to rid himself of bad, bad memories, Iruka took the tempura platter and checked quickly for a certain wolverine before gingerly placing it on the table.

A low drawl sounded as he wandered back and forth from the kitchen, setting the table like he did every day. "You seem awfully calm for a guy who just found out his pet is half girl."

Iruka's eye twitched as the tall, masked man lazily leaned against the wall and raised an eyebrow at him expectantly. "He isn't half _girl,_" he snapped instantly in Naruto's defense. "Just because he has a-a-"

"Vagina," the man, whose name Iruka had learned was Kakashi, provided helpfully.

"We don't discuss genitalia at the dinner table!" Iruka hissed, stabbing the spatula in his direction with vicious intent. A soft snort was the man's response and Iruka gave him one last reproving glare before retreating to the kitchen in search of the sweet carrots he'd made for a certain pink bunny.

"When do you plan on discussing it then?" Iruka jumped as the voice sounded from right behind him and silently cursed the man's ability to move so quickly. "Because right now it looks like you know little to nothing about the situation at hand."

Iruka turned jerkily and stumbled into the masked man as he elbowed his way out of the kitchen. "I've read books." he managed to mutter, feeling embarrassed by the fact that Kakashi was right; he hadn't even considered the possibility of any of his pets – or any pets at all, for that matter – being hermaphrodites.

Kakashi fixed him with a disbelieving one-eyed stare. He opened his mouth to no doubt discomfit Iruka further about his lack of knowledge, but the soft chatter of approaching pets caught their attention first.

"And Shikamaru said that there was blood all over the place, right Shika?"

"Tch. Why do girls have to gossip about everything? Even if its happening two rooms away?"

"And it was Sasuke-kun that was bleeding!"

"That Naruto! It's because he didn't let Iruka-sensei clip his claws last week!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes expressively at Shino, who twitched his antennae in response to the girls' mindless babble. They moved ahead of the rest of the pets and wandered into the kitchen, where the presence of a stranger caused all of them to quiet.

"Who are you?" Ino spoke up boldly, slinking forward to sniff the tall man discreetly.

Iruka coughed uncomfortably at the pet's scrutiny. They didn't often have visitors, and especially not at this time of night. "This is Kakashi-san," he said, waving his spatula in the masked man's direction and accidentally catching the sleeve of his jacket.

He winced in apology and continued. "He works at the grocer's and since he was so kind to bring us flour this late in the evening, I thought we would invite him to stay for dinner."

This announcement was met with three indifferent shrugs, one expressive yawn, and a shy nod from the most timid pet Iruka had ever made acquaintance with. Hinata, a dainty Siamese born of the same litter as Neji, was actually one of the larger pets, but her ducked shoulders and bowed head made her seem much smaller. She rarely spoke in anything but a quiet stutter; in fact, the only pets she managed to converse with at all were the girls and Shino, whose own quiet demeanor made him a kindred soul.

Iruka blinked out of his psychoanalysis as a loud _thunk_ caught his attention. He looked up to see Chouji tumble into the room and quickly stepped in front of the plate of tempura to block the wolverine's advance.

"Dinner?" the chubby pet demanded, butting his head against Iruka in an attempt to get him to move.

"Yes, yes." Iruka relented hastily, nudging the wolverine aside and ducking his head under the table to take out for the dinner mats.

"Where are they?" he muttered, holding Chouji back with one hand on his insatiable stomach and frowning at the empty space beneath the tables. "I thought I told Naruto to g—"

He stood up suddenly, banging his head on the edge of the table but failing to even notice the pain as the thought crossed his mind. He scanned the room rapidly, and felt his heart drop when his eyes failed to fall upon a head of bright blonde hair.

"_Naruto!" _

Sasuke stubbornly refused to look into the mirror as he bandaged his hand. He knew what he would see – blood in his hair, on his face and chest, a rapidly swelling eye and a shredded shirt – and had no desire to reaffirm that image.

His lips pursed as he tightened the bandage viciously. Cords of pain pulsed through his arm, but he continued to pull until his hand started to feel numb. He picked up the gauze Iruka had hesitantly placed in front of him before leaving him to clean up, and taped the ends together.

The entire process was mechanical; living in a house full of pets with sharp claws, sharper teeth, and no restraint to speak of, taught you quickly how to treat your wounds. So as Sasuke washed the blood from his claws and tried to get his hair back in some semblance of order, his mind was a million miles away… or rather, a few feet away, circling around a certain blond kitten.

He gnashed his teeth irritably and felt his face flush in anger as he remembered how completely he'd lost control. His recollection of the entire scene was fuzzy around the edges, and it made his tail bristle to think that he'd acted like a complete _animal_ in front of everyone, including that masked stranger.

Logically speaking, of course, Sasuke knew that a pet behaving like an animal was nothing unheard of – rather common, actually, in this household – but he had always prided himself on being more human than all of the others. He had been brought up to be well mannered and orderly, and despite the fact that none of his family remained to witness it, that display had disgraced his stately lineage.

He glanced at the door and frowned distastefully at the deep furrows he'd raked in the wood. Even now he wasn't quite sure what had caused him to go into such a frenzy. He remembered feeling satisfaction and an odd sense of accomplishment when he'd finally gotten that idiot Naruto underneath him, and then a sudden, heavy flood of rage as he was taken away, but everything after that came up a blank.

Though… Sasuke's brow furrowed as he clawed through his memory. Distantly he recalled Iruka asking the tall, silver-haired man to dinner, and feeling anger choke him as the man had touched Naruto without his permission – he bared his fangs instinctively at the thought even now. The only thing that had stopped him from leaping and ripping that man to shreds had been the way Naruto had hissed and jerked away.

It had been obvious that the blonde kitten hadn't wanted to be touched by anyone but him. Sasuke's lips curled up in a self-satisfied smirk at the thought before the full meaning behind it sank into his mind and he stepped back with a hiss.

What the hell was he thinking? He lifted his gaze to meet frustrated black eyes in the mirror. It wasn't as if he _wanted_ the blond idiot to want him to touch him. Sasuke paused a moment to stare blankly at his reflection as the pronoun confusion in that thought prevented it from making any sense at all.

He shook his head in vague irritation and forced his ears to stop twitching. Standing here thinking about something clearly so ridiculous was getting him nowhere. He curled his hand into a fist to test that the bandage was loose enough to allow him to hold his chopsticks properly and licked the tip of his tail to dampen an unruly cowlick before glancing one last time towards the mirror and walking out the door.

"And then what happened?"

Naruto waved his arms agitation. "And then he tried to EAT ME!"

"Eat you?" A hint of skepticism now, and Naruto grabbed the older cat by the shoulders and leaned forward to look earnestly into his eyes.

"Neji, he was _chewing _on me!"

The Siamese felt a shudder run down his spine as the smell grew stronger due to Naruto's proximity. He swallowed and turned his head away, pulling his tail forward to wrap around his waist so it wouldn't be thrashing wildly behind him.

"Really."

"Believe it! And then… a-and then…" Naruto's voice trailed off into a worried frown. He chewed his bottom lip and Neji had to close his eyes before the sight caused him to take that lip into his own mouth.

"And then what?" he prompted, easing a bit closer to Naruto, running his claws gently through the soft fur at his wrist.

"And then it started to feel funny. Itchy and… hot." He squirmed. "Really hot."

Naruto rubbed his head against Neji's shoulder as he talked, taking advantage of the unexpected close contact. He didn't know what had prompted the usually solitary Siamese to come to him, but he wasn't going to complain. He was still a little shook up from Sasuke's sudden attack, and the memories of rough hands and water in his mouth, nose, lungs, kicking out and sinking, _drowning_…

He trembled furiously and covered it up by fluffing his tail and extending it in a full body stretch. He slid against Neji as he did so, reveling in the warmth and companionship. A purr traveled up from low in his belly but didn't quite make it out of his mouth.

He wasn't sure why, but it felt… _wrong_ to purr because of Neji. His tail lashed behind him irritably as he tried to figure out why this was. He purred with Sasuke (that bastard!) all the time, and he was the one that had tried to kill him!

As busy as he was grumpily contemplating this gross injustice, Naruto failed to notice as Neji stealthily moved behind him, until his face was right besides the blonde's twitching tail. Neji's mouth parted as he breathed in, the scent so concentrated that he could taste it in the back of his mouth.

"So I scratched him, cos he deserved it! I only wanted him to wash m—ah!"

A clawed hand grasped his tail, and despite the gentleness of the touch, Naruto nearly jumped out of his skin. He yelped and tried to turn around, but another hand grasped his thigh and kept him in place.

"Neji, wh—"

"Shhh." A deep, rumbly sound, too low to be a purr but too light to be a growl, sounded from Neji's throat as he lifted the blonde's tail higher. The scent was positively intoxicating now, and for a moment he almost felt sorry for the Uchiha. He could see how easy it was to lose one's mind in the face of this scent, and if he had been in first rut like the proud black cat, he most certainly would have.

As it turned out, however, he had plenty of experience in the courting and eventual rutting of females. And while Naruto wasn't precisely a queen in heat, he _was _in heat, and that was good enough for Neji.

He held the blonde's tail up and nearly groaned aloud at the sight of the slick, wet opening hidden between two soft looking folds of skin. He dimly comprehended that Naruto was no longer lying prone in his grasp but rather thrashing and mewing in irritation, but it wasn't enough to stop him.

Delighted by the fact that he couldn't smell the Uchiha in this particular spot – he did prefer tender virgins – Neji leaned forward and drew his tongue in a long, wet swipe, daring to thrust in delicately before a kick to his face caused his chin to snap up and his teeth to gnash together.

He fell back with a curse, feeling blood rush into his mouth from the cut on his lip and washing away the succulent, tangy taste of the blonde's heat. He looked up in annoyance at being interrupted and blanched at the sight.

The normally cheery, loud blonde kitten had turned into a bristled ball of fury. A growl so violent erupted from Naruto's throat that Neji actually stumbled as he backed away. Silted blue eyes glared at him reproachfully and claws were pointedly extended in his direction as a blatant warning not to come any closer.

"Nar-"

"Hyuuga." The word was snarled more than it was spoken, and the underlying growl causing it to warp so that Neji could barely understand it. His eyes shifted to land on the black cat coming out of the shadows of the house and felt his hackles rise in response to the threat in those eyes.

"Sasuke-teme!" Apparently the sight of the Uchiha caused Naruto to snap out of whatever sort of bloodlust he was in. Neji contemplated this as he absently nursed his torn lip and watched the blonde bounce over to the black cat's side.

"Your eye is still bleeding," Naruto said appreciatively as he reached Sasuke. "I kicked your ass!" A gleeful chuckle followed this statement, something that at any other time Sasuke would have found irksome yet slightly endearing. Right now, however, after having just witnessed Neji clearly enjoying himself between Naruto's thighs, he felt nothing other than a devastated sort of fury.

Sasuke turned away with a hiss and tried to focus on the smell of the freshly cut grass beneath his feet and nothing, _nothing_ else.

"Don't," he snapped as his peripheral vision caught the blond following him. "Don't come near me. You've caused enough problems."

He resolutely looked the other way as Naruto's eyes dimmed and tail fell to brush the ground.

"Yeah, well, you weren't all sunshine and daisies either, bastard," Naruto countered lamely, trying his hardest to sound obnoxious so he wouldn't sound hurt. His chest contracted painfully at the thought that Sasuke was angry with him _again_. He knew it would be just as fair for him to stay mad at the bastard too, but try as he might he couldn't conjure up a bit of resentment towards him.

Neji watched the both of them from a few paces away, silently marveling at the tension that practically vibrated between them. He'd had no interest in Naruto - other than the occasional amusement factor when he made a fool of himself – before the heat came into play, but he had known that Naruto made it his daily tribulation to follow Sasuke around and annoy the crap out of him.

This, though, this… connection that he was witnessing right now, no matter how antagonistic, was something different, something he couldn't say he himself had experienced in the past. Neji didn't like it. His eyes narrowed in contemplation. There was no love lost between the Uchiha and himself and connection or no, Neji was going to have Naruto on his knees mewling like a whore for him if it was the last thing he did.

"Naruto! NARUTO!"

Three pairs of ears perked up at the noise and Neji's elaborate schemes came to a sudden halt. It wasn't anything too excitable – Iruka ran around screaming at Naruto most every day – but the look of pure fright on the man's face had even the arrogant Neji mewing in concern.

Iruka ran out of the house and grasped Naruto's shoulders with both hands, shaking him urgently. "Didn't I tell you not to go anywhere by yourself?!"

"I didn't!" Naruto defended quickly. "Neji was with me."

Iruka put his head in his hands and fought the urge to cry out of frustration. Granted, he should have been a bit clearer when telling Naruto not to wander off, but for god's sake, didn't the boy understand the meaning of 'heat'?

His head snapped up at the thought. _That's right, _he thought swiftly, _of course he doesn't. He's only a kitten._ He bit his lip as he wondered how to explain the matter to the blonde. He was about to go into full on teacher mode when Naruto licked him playfully on the nose, snickering at Iruka's bewildered expression.

_Well, _he sighed internally, _I can't do anything about it now, at any rate. I'll have to have a long talk with him later… _

"Two toms, in the same house." Kakashi amused voice interrupted his inner monologue. "Dare I ask what you were thinking?"

Iruka snapped towards him with a scowl. "Forgive me for not having as much startling insight as yourself."

"Forgiven," Kakashi said cheekily as Iruka's mouth dropped open at his retort.

"You—" he began, on his last thread of patience and near ready to beat the taller man to a pulp, before a rather loud growl cut him off.

Naruto chuckled sheepishly and rubbed his stomach while staring up at Iruka with pleading baby blues. Iruka rolled his eyes in exasperation; of course dinner came first. He held out a hand and smiled when a smaller, clawed one settled in.

He looked over his shoulder at the two other stiff, proud cats to make sure they were following. He wasn't sure what had happened before he'd found Naruto, though the heavy threat of violence that hung like a malignant cloud between the two was painfully obvious.

As much as he was loath to admit it, Kakashi did have a point. Two toms with severe attitude problems in rut over a recently discovered hermaphrodite in heat could bring nothing but trouble. He shuddered at the thought and squeezed Naruto's hand in his a bit tighter, eliciting a reassuring mew from his favorite pet.

Perhaps it was a good thing that Iruka didn't know exactly how much trouble he was really in for.

**TBC**


	5. Five

**Cat's Tales**

"Itadakimasu!"

The first few minutes of dinner were spent in relative silence as ten pets and two humans started eating rather enthusiastically after an exhausting day. The stiff scrape of chopsticks on their plates and the chewing and swallowing of food were the only sounds in the air and for a moment, Iruka could look around the dinner table and pretend everything was back to normal.

And then his gaze would land on a certain blond kitten, who was shooting pouty glares in Sasuke's direction while stabbing his tempura resentfully with a chopstick, and a sigh would well up in his chest. If he was honest with himself, Iruka had known from the moment he'd heard the word "heat" that nothing was ever going to be _normal_ again.

When he'd first found Naruto, he'd had no intention of ever encountering a pet, much less getting one of his own. His late father had made enough money as a contractor for them to be able to live comfortably, but it was a known thing that pets were the playthings of the wealthy. He'd had two cats and a dog as a child, and Iruka chuckled internally now as he recalled thinking that a humanoid pet couldn't be so different.

He had taken Naruto in without a thought to the consequences. In a way it hadn't even been a conscious decision – there had been no contemplation, no consideration, no hesitation on his part. Naruto had taken rein of him the moment he looked into those clear blue eyes.

In some way he supposed it was because he saw himself in the kitten. He had been lost after his parents' death, wandering from city to city, ragged in appearance and broken in spirit. Finding something more vulnerable than himself, something so tiny and helpless yet still so determined had given him more strength than he could have ever imagined.

People had thought him a little bit crazy when they heard he'd adopted the blond kitten. He was dirty, mousy thing, with chipped teeth and mangy fur. And not only was Naruto filthy, he was also _wild. _Pets were valued based on how closely they could imitate a human despite their animalistic qualities, but it was obvious that no one had ever tried to tame the blonde. He spit and clawed and bit and even – Iruka choked as the memory flashed across his mind's eye – _pissed _on you.

He shook his head minutely at the countless pairs of curious eyes that looked up at the stifled sound. Kakashi looked curiously at the slight man trembling from suppressed humor besides him and found himself unable to look away. Captivated by his flushed cheeks and dancing eyes, Kakashi stared unabashedly as Iruka remembered.

It had been the first time Iruka had taken the blonde to a vet to make sure he didn't have any sort of contagious disease that could be seen as a health hazard. He had cleaned the kitten up as best he could at that point and he had thought he looked rather adorable but unfortunately the vet didn't think so. That moment, the exact moment the vet had given him a look of concealed disgust and Naruto had hissed violently in his arms, had been when Iruka realized how perceptive his kitten actually happened to be.

He had soothed him as best he could and, at times, held him down as the vet attempted to examine him without getting kicked in the face, but all of his coaxing fell apart when she announced that it was time for an injection. The blonde had gone _wild _in his arms, kicking and scratching and knocking things over (though Iruka distinctly remembered that he had never once tried to injure _him_) and the vet had quickly called in her assistant and strapped him to a chair.

Iruka himself had felt a spike of panic rush through him at the sight of the restrained blonde and had been about to call the entire appointment off, but Naruto took matters into his own hands. Or rather, penis.

Unable to hold back to the laughter this time, Iruka quickly excused himself and rushed to the kitchen before he doubled over the sink, shaking in silent mirth as he remembered the look on the woman's face as she had been sprayed rather enthusiastically with urine.

"_Y-you.. that! Th-Get! Get that thing out of my office!"_ she had screeched, and when everyone had stared at her in stunned silence, she had grabbed Iruka by the shoulders and shoved him at the door. _"GET OUT!"_ she'd bellowed as Iruka had hastily grabbed the blonde kitten and wrapped him in a towel, _"AND TAKE THAT UNCIVILIZED BEAST WITH YOU!"_

And Iruka couldn't be sure, but he swore to this day that the reason she had thrown an expensive monitoring device at the door and accidentally hit an unsuspecting patient had been due to the self satisfied smirk Naruto had thrown at her over his shoulder.

"Oh, god." Iruka gasped into the sink, still clutching at his stomach as another wave of laughter burst out of him. It was actually starting to hurt now - his ribs _ached_ - but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"I didn't peg you for one to lose it so quickly."

The laugh caught in his throat as he whirled to face Kakashi, who had once again silently crept into the kitchen without him noticing. The way the masked man was attempting to look nonchalant while obviously worried for Iruka's sanity caused him to erupt into giggles once more.

"So-Sorry," he managed between chuckles. "I, I just…"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow in question and Iruka shook his head helplessly. "It's all so _surreal._ Just this morning I was worrying about whether I could get that stain out of the carpet," he waved his hand vaguely towards a stain Kakashi could barely make out, "and now, a-and now I'm worried about if my _male _kitten can get pregnant!"

Another bout of laughter that held a tinge of desperation followed this statement, and Kakashi moved closer with a hidden frown, trapping the smaller man against the counter.

"Do you ever think maybe you just worry too much about everything?"

"Eh?"

A cool grey eye blinked at him impatiently. "Giving yourself an ulcer won't help anything."

Iruka started, looking up at the taller man in bemusement. "What? I was just having a laugh."

Kakashi's eyebrows rose at that, and his slow drawl was dry. "If that's how you normally laugh, I'd hate to see you cry."

Iruka rolled his eyes. "Well, no, but this isn't a normal sort of situation." He looked out towards the dining room and sighed as the soft chatter of the pets drifted into the kitchen. "I really am in over my head, aren't I?"

"Which begs the question," Kakashi said slowly, following Iruka's gaze. "Why you have so many pets in the first place. I've seen one or two – sometimes three – in a household, but _ten?_"

Iruka got the feeling that he wanted to ask a lot more than he was allowing himself to.

"I… I hadn't planned on it," he replied with a shifty shrug, sliding past Kakashi and opening the fridge for no reason other than to occupy his hands. "They're not all mine, you know."

"Really." The sharpness of his voice caused Iruka to turn in mild surprise.

"Well, yes." He fidgeted with the handle, uneasy without anything to do. "Naruto and Chouji are mine, and the rest sort of… well, found their way here." Kakashi tilted his head slightly as a cue for him to continue, so he did.

"I picked Naruto up from the street four years or so ago. And Chouji… well, I discovered Chouji when I began to investigate what we thought was a rat infestation back when I worked as a chef." He laughed softly at the memory of finding a rather plump baby wolverine hiding in one of the lower cupboards and eating his fill of the kitchen's leftovers.

"Then, one of my father's good friends - Hyuuga Hiashi, you may have heard of him? – had an unexpected litter. He didn't want to keep them all, and…" Iruka faltered, and swallowed thickly as he remembered the cold, cruel eyes of the leader of the Hyuuga Clan. He looked uncertainly towards the dining room and Kakashi leaned forward in encouragement.

"He was going to… put down all but the healthiest one," Iruka managed to get out with difficulty, and Kakashi felt something in him tighten at the sight of the man so clearly in distress. "I heard about it too late. Three of them were already gone but Neji…" He sighed. "I knew he had some debts towards my father so I tried to convince him to keep Neji."

"And he refused?" Kakashi spoke up, and was momentarily startled by how soft his own voice sounded.

"No. No, he kept him. Treated him like trash, but kept him." Iruka's lips thinned in fury. "I worked for him for a short period of time. I saw how he, he would…" He shook his head, agitated, and Kakashi decided not to press the issue.

"And then I did something foolish." He laughed, but it held none of the amusement Kakashi had heard before. It was bitter, stiff, and Kakashi found it didn't suit the slight man in the least.

"You threatened to report him." He finished Iruka's thought for him, looking back steadily as quick brown eyes snapped up to meet his.

"I-yes, how did y—"

"I was a trainer," he said quietly. "I know the abuse of a pureblood humanoid is considered a felony."

Iruka nodded, momentarily appeased with the evasive answer. "He fired me instantly. Not only that, he had me shipped out of the city with a few threats of his own. So I found myself led here by my search for a job. Eventually, I got one as an editor, but I'd already bought this house and… well." He smiled and a bit of the previous light returned to his eyes. "You can see why I didn't want to leave."

Kakashi could see quite clearly. The house was almost unbearably cramped and small, especially for ten pets, but the surrounding scenery was breathtaking. The large lake stretching out behind the house as far as the eye could see had previously been a reservoir, so it was clean of pollution and shone like crystal in the sunlight. There were lush woods surrounding the tiny house on either side, and while it was a bit isolated from the village proper, it was close enough that help could arrive in a hurry if there was ever an emergency. It was the perfect location to raise a family, and though, Kakashi thought with a secret smile, while his wasn't the most _conventional_ of families, Iruka was doing just that.

He wanted to ask Iruka how he had managed to nab it before some of the wealthier villagers did, but decided to save that line of questioning for later.

"We settled here quite nicely. Kiba belonged to the old butcher in the village – he had come about as sort of an inheritance – but the man had wanted nothing to do with a rambunctious pup ruining a business that was already close to falling apart so he decided to hand him over to me.

"Naruto and Chouji were already a handful then, but I," Iruka continued dryly, "in my astounding naivety, thought that they would keep each other busy."

Kakashi fought the urge to smile, something he found himself doing a rather lot in Iruka's presence, and then, realizing that his mask would cover any expression of amusement regardless, allowed his lips to twitch into a grin. "And the others? How did you manage to get Neji back?"

"Ah." Iruka sighed. "That wasn't until a few months ago. Hiashi died in a rather unexpected accident and his will hadn't been confirmed, so everything he owned was put on the market."

"Including his pets."

"Including his pets," Iruka confirmed with a nod. "But if you remember, there was a lot of controversy about the Pet Sale and Trade Act then, and the Clan didn't want to risk it. They didn't care much for Neji and Hinata anyway, and since selling them was out of the question… I didn't think about how many more pets I could keep. I just grabbed the chance when I had it.

"And then I brought them back here," Iruka continued. "Word spread pretty fast in the town. You know there is a summer resort just behind the hill, overlooking the lake from the other side? Taking vacation for more than just summer has become a popular thing now. And when all the businessmen and councilmen who had come here with their families and pets heard that I was running a pet service of sorts – that was the word that got around the village, mind – they started dropping them off over here.

"Some for a few weeks, others for the entire course of the vacation. The resort is meant to be a getaway; they don't want to have to look after their pets while they're trying to relax, and that I'm keeping them close by is a relief, considering how valuable they—"

A loud clatter from the dining room cut him off, followed closely by a yelled, "Kiba, I'll kill you!"

Iruka moved quickly towards the noise, but Naruto's exclamation had reminded Kakashi of something rather important. He grabbed Iruka's arm and jerked him back against his chest, refusing to acknowledge how startlingly attractive the slight man looked with his eyes widened like that.

"Sasuke," he started, only years of experience keeping the urgency from his voice. "You never told me how Sasuke got here."

Iruka gave him an odd look. "He wa—"

The sound of something expensive being smashed cut him off this time and Iruka wrestled his arm away from Kakashi's grip and ran into the dining room. His agitated voice carried back to the masked man in the kitchen.

"Naruto, w-what, _what_ is going on in here?!"

Kakashi raised a hand and wearily rubbed his face as he sighed. His voice held a sardonic tinge as he spoke into the empty kitchen.

"How damn ironic is it that I got distracted from getting the information I wanted by the very man I was supposed to be distracting."

"So, Sasuke-kun…" Ino spoke up, twisting the long fur on her tail over her fingers. The oppressive silence at the table was making her twitchy, and she didn't like the looks that passed between Sasuke and Neji. After Iruka-sensei had snorted rather loudly into his food and excused himself and the masked man had followed, the tension had risen a hundred fold.

Realizing no one else was going to speak up, she graciously took matters into her own hands. "Does your eye hurt very badly?"

Sasuke didn't even acknowledge that she had spoken, but Ino continued, undeterred. "It looks painful, Sasuke-kun." She eased closer to him in that slinky, stealthy way felines did, and failed to notice the way his eyebrow twitched in irritation.

"Do you want me to lick it better?" she purred lasciviously, sliding her tongue over her top row of teeth before flashing her canines in a grin.

"No he does NOT, Ino, you pig!" Sakura shrieked in response, tugging the blonde Persian back as Chouji took advantage of the distraction and nabbed her tempura.

"What did you just call me, you little—" Ino turned back with a hiss, brandishing her claws as a no-fail intimidation tactic, seeing as the pink bunny had none of her own. "Hey, fatty, get away from my food!"

She grabbed for the stolen morsel but Chouji hurriedly popped it into his already stuffed mouth before she could. Ino screeched in affront and attempted to crawl across the table to strangle the wolverine as all the pets at the table twitched their ears flat against their heads to escape the awful noise.

"Get over here, you—" Ino slashed at the wolverine, but slipped on the mat and the tip of her claw caught the furry, sensitive edge of Hinata's ear instead. The timid Siamese gasped softly in pain, but any other noise was drowned out by the vicious growl that came from Neji's throat.

He snarled at Ino as he moved around the table and placed himself between her and a quivering Hinata. The Persian backed away quickly; Neji's overprotective behavior when it concerned his littermate was a well-known fact. Any damage done to Hinata in any shape or form would be returned with interest.

"I-It was an accident," Ino stammered, backing away until she reached Shikamaru and ducked hesitantly behind him. "It was stupid Chouji—"

"Shut up," Neji hissed, tail stiff and lashing. "Shut up and sit down."

Ino sat. Neji turned to Hinata and gave her ear a cursory glance before confirming that it was nothing he couldn't get revenge for later. He settled besides the shy Siamese, appetite lost, and worked on trying to bring his tail back from its bristled state.

The table fell into silence once again, but this time Ino was keen on keeping it that way. Kiba, unfortunately, wasn't.

"So what's it like being a girl, Naru-chan?"

"Who're you callin' a girl, shithead?!"

"Ooh, language, Naru-chan-"

"You—" Naruto sputtered in rage, jumping up from his mat but falling flat on his face as his tail caught in the large over shirt Iruka had made him wear and he lost his balance. Sasuke stiffened almost imperceptibly as Kiba guffawed at the blonde's lack of coordination.

"What are you talking about?" His voice was taut and quiet, but he knew the dog boy would be able to hear him.

Large furry ears swiveled in his direction and Kiba cocked his head. "I heard the guy with the mask say so in the bathroom that Naru-chan here was a _girl._"

"Half girl," Shikamaru said with an aggravated sigh, unable to let such blasé untruths go uncorrected.

Sasuke dimly heard Naruto and Kiba yelling over Shikamaru's explanation to the girls', but all he could think about right then was how he could have missed it.

"_Don't tell me you've never heard of hermaphrodites?"_

"_Hermaphrodite. You know, they have both boy and girl par-"_

"_The little kitty's rolling in heat."_

Heat. Sasuke felt his own body begin to heat as mortification washed over him like a wave. _Heat._ That's what it had been. He had been trying to… trying to _mate. _Sudden nausea rose in him and the onigiri he had just eaten roiled rebelliously in his stomach. Oh, god, not Naruto. Not Naruto, not him.

Desperation clawed inside of him and he tried to remain composed. He remembered everything in much more clarity now – the feel of Naruto underneath him, the mad urge to claw his way inside the blonde if only to make them one, the taste of his blood, the smell… the _smell._

Spots danced in front of his eyes and he clutched the edge of the table as the memory sent pulses of heat through his body. He sensed rather than saw Neji turn towards him with a calculating air about him, but paid him no attention. All of his focus was pressed on one loud, blonde kitten.

Hermaphrodite, that's what the man had called him. Sasuke distantly remembered hearing that word before, or perhaps reading it, back when his mother had been around to tell him pointless stories about fantastical beasts and the havoc they caused on the world. _Demons,_ she'd told him in a whisper, _they're demons, not man nor woman but some strange mix of the two, with their bloody eyes and powers that devour the very soul. _She had shuddered in exaggerated fear and curled a smaller version of Sasuke closer. _It's best to be wary of such creatures, Sasuke. They define evil. _

A sudden clatter caused his eyes to snap open, and he saw Naruto, a _demon,_ in the form of an incensed blonde kitten – red in the face from yelling and waving his fists in the air as if to make himself look bigger, more intimidating.

He closed his eyes again, and saw in a blink the blood red eyes of his brother as he slit their mother's throat with a smile. _No, Mother,_ he thought, oddly numb, _you didn't recognize evil when you saw it. _

"Kiba, I'll kill you!"

The war cry snapped Sasuke back to the present and he fought back a violent shudder as the remains of the gruesome memory pressed against his mind. He turned every bit of his attention on Naruto as if pulled by a magnet, tugging his mind from the past and into the now. The one thing Naruto could always do, if nothing else, was repel his memories.

His lips twitched in an infinitesimal smile as the blonde leapt across the table and tackled a taunting Kiba to the floor, smashing several expensive plates as he went about it. Sasuke was about to get up and calmly return to his post by the window, when a thunderous exclamation halted all of their activities.

"Naruto, w-what, _what_ is going on in here?!"

**TBC**


End file.
